


Advice for the coolkid

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, M/M, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Red Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-29
Updated: 2012-05-29
Packaged: 2017-11-06 05:47:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/415421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically three roleplays of an AU where... Uh... Hm.<br/>Dave and Jade are happily living together SOMEWHERE. And Karkat is still on LOPAH. For some reason. I guess after the game they were sent off to find places to live and-</p><p>Ok I'll be honest with you. Sense is for losers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Slowly, Karkat got up from where he sat. He was sick earlier, but had made a quick recovery. His body merely had been pretty trashed by that emotional hurricane that passed through him, and it left him vulnerable. But he found his strength again, and was up and walking once more, almost perfectly back to health.

As he walked through his hive, he dragged his fingers along the walls, a bit lost in thought. Everyone was at each others throats in the beginning, and now it seemed as though everyone was at each others’s lips instead.

Karkat didn’t mind all that much. Less stress for him to deal with, and less grub-sitting to do. But he absolutely hated feeling useless as well. He stepped outside, the suns now bathing the land in their warmth. He couldn’t help but let his eyes drift back toward the direction he had watched the Signless go. It all felt like a dream now, almost unreal. But he knew it wasn’t just a dream.

Not feeling like lingering, he decided to wander around while he was outside. He still had his mobile device to be reached at, as he still would feel uncomfortable leaving any connection behind, as from what happened the last time that occurred.

He started walking in the direction the Signless had went. He wasn’t thinking about it and had not done so intentionally. He just wanted to walk. 

Dave didn’t quite know what he was doing. After the game finished and they settled down on other planets, he had chosen at random.This place was nice enough. The red oceans suited him, harmonizing with the lavender fog in the skies like thin clouds. He had later learned that it was called the Land of Pulse and Haze, because of the hearts in the ruins, pumping blood into the oceans. So morbid. Just morbid enough for his ironic tastes. He knew the castle-like house belonged to Karkat. His own shack wasn’t much to talk about really, it was just a place to keep his stuff and not a home. Or hive. Whatever. His left hand absently pulling up strands of the unnaturally dark grass he let his thoughts float free and join the hazy skies.

Karkat kept walking, shuffling at the grass and kicking the occasional pebble until he noticed the Strider human, Dave, pulling at the grass and seeming quite distracted.

Now Karkat normally isn’t one to pull pranks. That’s just not his sort of shit. However, this opportunity was just too great to pass up, and it had been so long since he’s gotten to make a jab at the human. It was all in good fun nowadays, of course. After everything everyone has been through, they got along decently except for the occasional, but massive, roadbumps.

Which is what usually Karkat flips shit at and desperately tries to fix.

Karkat quietly walked, staying out of view of Dave. He crept closer and closer, until he was behind the human who was staring intently at the sky.

Then he quietly took a deep breath, trying to not let any snickers escape himself.

“FUCKASS!” he called out quite loudly, in attempt to startle the Strider boy.

Dave was the kind of person who didn’t scream when startled. He froze completely. It didn’t take long, but he couldn’t help a silent “shit” to escape his lips as his heart calmed itself. Ok. Lost his cool for a second. This had to be fixed. “‘sup Karkitty.” he replied, voice flat like he was already bored, but in his head he begged that Karkat hadn’t seen him freeze like a deer in the frontlights of a car.

Karkat let a little snick of a laugh slip out when he saw the Dave human freeze. Although it would have been more satisfying to see him lose it, Karkat wasn’t exactly all surprised that it didn’t happen. So, he took what he got from it and moved on.

Karkat, in his loud and ornery voice as was usual (but not yelling, per se), replied to Dave. “FUCK THAT NAME, SERIOUSLY STRIDER,” he leaned against a tree that was nearby, crossing his arms. “AND ASIDE FROM THE FUCKING CLOUDS, NOT MUCH IS UP. I WAS JUST WALKING. WHAT ARE YOU DOING AROUND HERE? I’M SURPRISED YOU’RE NOT AROUND THE JADE GIRL,” he commented.

Dave positioned his shades for no reason. All the little things he had started doing… Like the thing with the grass. Pull one strand up, run finger along it, drop it, pull up another… He had so many small cuts on his thumb from cutting himself on it. Shit was like paper.“Felt like it.” He said blankly, using his answer to mostly everything. But even with his shades he looked away from Karkat. That guy had stingy eyes… He had asked Jade, but seemingly he was the only one with that feeling.

Karkat narrowed his eyes when Dave turned his shades away from him. This wasn’t exactly the Strider that he had learned to get used to. Karkat may be painfully oblivious to some situations, but it was this sort of shit he picked up on pretty quickly.

“IS THAT WHY YOU’RE HERE?” Karkat questioned Dave. “ARE YOU NERVOUS ABOUT SOME SHIT HAVING TO DO WITH HER?” he asked, tilting his head and narrowing his eyes even more, trying to unnerve Dave into confessing something. He was putting those little pieces together, the cuts on his hands from fumbling with the grass, uneasy habits like that. Karkat waited for an explanation.

Dave figured he was being dumb. Karkat might be an ass sometimes, but damn he was sharp. So in order to not seem suspicious he just turned his head and looked him in the eyes trough the dark glass that was his shades. “Nope. Not nervous. I just felt like coming home.” He regretted saying that last thing as soon as the words got wings and flew from his tongue. Karkat knew, probably better than anyone, that Dave never had thought of this place as home. He felt trapped here and he had never tried to hide it. Sure, it was nice, but as he had learned the hard way; In rare occasions there can just be too much irony, be it with fetishy puppets or blood oceans.

“HOME? FUCK THAT STRIDER, BOTH YOU AND I KNOW HOME IS THE LAST THING YOU WOULD CALL THIS SHITBALL,” Karkat accused, looking Dave straight in the eyes behind those shades. Karkat was not about to let up.

“YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO LIE BETTER IF YOU’RE WANTING TO GET YOUR SHIT PAST ME. YOU’RE DIGGING A PRETTY FUCKING DEEP HOLE FOR YOURSELF,” Karkat warned him. Not a threat, but Dave was obviously not at the top of his game at the moment and each slip he makes would make the hole of his excuses deeper, and harder to climb out of successfully.

Karkat had the advantage today. Dave was obviously distracted, despite what he might have liked to believe. On the other side, Karkat was the sharpest he’s been in a very long time, thanks to his visit with the Signless.

“Calm your tits” Dave said, keeping the pride he had left by not lingering or fumbling for words. He turned away from Karkat’s eyes. They reminded him of those search lights that look for escaped prisoners. If he were to keep his cool he better not look into them. Instead his eyes wandered off to the sky again. It was a pity that he couldn’t see any moon… Come to think about it he didn’t even know if this place had a moon. The thin gas clouds had to do. His hand worked furiously with the ground. “I just wanted to be alone. Or, not with her. Just for a moment.” He pronounced “her” like he had forgotten Jade’s name. “It’s… It’s a small place. And when two people live in a small place, err… They can start… Annoying each other.” Annoying was the weakest word to describe what had happened between them. “So I figured I’d come back here. You’re right, this hellhole isn’t home, but it can be pretty rad.” Had he did it? Was he off the hook? 

Karkat still could tell something was definitely up, if not just for the fact Dave could not hold eye contact with him for long. His eyes lingered down towards Dave’s hand, which was telling the truth that Dave’s voice would not.

Karkat snapped his eyes back up at the word “her”. The way he said it… sounded off. Karkat sighed as Dave continued at talking about living in a small place, and various human woes related to it. Dave didn’t explain it with much conviction or dedication. He closed his eyes, ignoring the last bit Dave had said. He knew it would be a fucking lie anyways.

He sat down in a shorter portion of the grass, eyes closed and with a knowing expression papped the ground next to him to beckon Dave to sit down.

No, Dave was most definitely not off the hook.

He sighed, but sat down next to Karkat anyway. “What.” he asked. He didn’t sound tired, he didn’t sound angry or sad. But when you thought about it Dave hardly ever sounded anything. His facial expression was as always. But when you live your life not feeling a lot, when you actually do feel, it’s hard to handle it. The details, the details… His thumb had started to bleed, and out of reflex he hid it in a fold of his shirt, even though the trolls knew by now that all humans had the same candy red blood. The pain kinda helped him wake up though. He shook himself and was about to face Karkat, but ended up with his hands folded in the lap of his crossed feet, staring at the sky as if he was still searching for the moon.

Karkat opened his eyes again, looking right at Dave. His eyes darted down quickly at Dave hiding his thumb; probably bleeding, he had guessed, then quickly resumed their silent interrogation of the Strider boy. Karkat had a feeling the ball was definitely in his court, so to speak. Especially since Dave actually sat down like he was beckoned to.

Karkat was silent for a bit. He reclined back on his hands as he sat with crossed legs and looked up towards the sky as well, expression focused. Karkat knew what he needed to do. At least he hoped he fucking did.

Karkat’s tone was completely different. Calm, and knowing. “It’s fucking hard to try not to feel anything all the time, isn’t it?”

Ok, that caught him off guard. He showed it, in his own way, able to look at Karkat now that Karkat looked somewhere else. He looked… Tired, in a way. Like he had been awake for ages and just now had gotten back to sleeping. He bit the inside of his cheek, wondering what the hell he was supposed to answer. “… Is that what I do?” He asked instead of answering at all. He could hear Jade’s voice ringing in his ears, the crying lingering at the edge, knowing she was going to burst into tears any moment.  _“Sometime’s you’re not so goddamn cool coolkid!”_ That explained it. 

Karkat, knowing that he would have struck the right spot, looked over at Strider and caught his expression. He recognized that face, that fatigue. It was the very own he had held as well, the face of someone ignoring their own feelings or trying so hard to focus on one emotion to keep the others out. Karkat’s outlet had always been rage. Dave’s was keeping cool. Or irony. Whatever.

“I understand way more than you fucking know,” Karkat said with a weak half smile. Oh man did he know. “I’m not a grub that wriggled out yesterday, you know. So,” he began, “what’s the fucking problem?”

Maybe. Just maybe he would stop fucking around. There was no one else here, and for once, Karkat didn’t seem to want to eat him. “It’s… Her.” Dave said, that strange voice returning, as if he couldn’t remember which “her” he was talking about. There was no doubt though.“You remember while we were playing?” He said, his usual flat voice somehow able to not change at all and still sound dreaming. “She was happy. All the time. I have no fucking idea how she did it, she lived alone with the fucking devilbeast. That thing needs to get left behind a shed with a bullet in it. Still she were so positive it was just…” He lacked words, as you often do when describing what you think of as perfect, so he used his bleeding hand trying to articulate and maybe get his point across. He didn’t need to though. Everyone who had met Jade knew what he was trying to say. His hand dropped lifelessly in his lap, red and torn like a slain dragon. “And now… Gone. She says I make her happy, which is the biggest lie since dubstep, but I don’t really fucking care. I just want her to be happy no matter what it takes.But every time I come into the room she kinda… Hides, you know? In herself. She talks to me and laughs and shit, but her eyes fly around, as if she’s looking for escapes. Recently she snapped, saying it was like being with a stone treathening to crush her. And she’s right. She’s so fucking right I can’t even take it. I’m making her unhappy.” When he said the last line, he could just as well have said “I murdered my own mother and ate the body” without changing the tone of his voice. The flat, anonymous way of talking had broke up, revealing what sounded like beez humming inside a cup, releasing hell if you ever were to let your guard down. Supressed. He sounded like he was struggling to hold it back. Like the act of making Jade unhappy was worthy of a double death penalty.

Karkat always flinched a little whenever Dave said “her”. The way he said it… he didn’t like it. But Karkat listened, his facial expression remaining focused. When Dave started gesturing with his hand, the blood had covered some of it, and Karkat still marveled at the shared blood color. All the humans had the same as he did.

He definitely knew about this optimism that Dave spoke of. Jade was the first one to really tried to encourage Karkat in the first place.

Karkat’s eyes followed Dave’s hand as it dropped, then he shifted his stare back to Dave’s face. Karkat stared blankly as he listened. He understood exactly what this Dave meant; after all he himself, although he would never admit it to anyone, held flushed feelings towards Jade and wanted her happy as well. But for that… he needed to stay out of it.

Karkat could hear the start of distress in Dave’s voice. He frowned, feeling pity for the human. So what was it that was making her unhappy about Dave? Karkat furrowed his brow in thought as he now stared ahead, a breeze rustling the grass and his hair, temporarily breaking the silence when Dave had finished talking.

“So you’re carrying this emotional weight,” Karkat started, tone thoughtful. “And that’s what’s threatening to crush her. At least, that’s what I get from this,” he concluded, turning to look at Dave once more.

“I don’t know man. Just between us, I don’t know everything” Dave sighed.“It’s… The way she said it. I swear, I could have murdered someone and felt less bad than I did then.” He couldn’t quite describe it, but his hand flew up again, poking himself in the chest, as if trying to say it was  _him._  It was  _his_  fault that Jade was unhappy. And judging by the cracks in his usual cool mask, he seemed to think he should be executed for it. “I don’t know how to stop it. I swear, I don’t, if I could just flick some magic wand and suddenly be warm and caring and shit I would. Just for her. But it’s what I’ve been raised to, who I am. And she’s… Ugh.” It was harder to explain than he had expected.“She… She cares for people. I don’t. She thinks the devilbeast is the best, I think it should be shot. She’ll build a fort to protect her in the storm, I’ll fucking pull out my sword and check if I can manage to get struck by lighting, just to try. We’re so far apart. How she manages to stand my ass is just mind blowing. And…She cares for me. So if I tell her “Look, I’m making you miserable, so I’ll just fuck off” she’ll feel worse.” The frustration was ever-present in his voice. It was hard to tell if him having these emotions suit him or not, it was just weird and unusual… And kind of patethic how he subconciously still tried to act cool by not letting it loose.

Pff. I don’t know everything, he says.  _NO FUCKING SHIT,_  was all Karkat could think at that statement. Karkat’s expression began to harden slightly as Dave started talking more and falling more and more into a trap of uselessness. Even if he thinks he can’t do it, can’t change at all, did he at least fucking try? He obviously cared a lot, but just how much was Dave willing to try to fix it?

Karkat pinched the bridge of his nose, scrunching his eyes shut and grit his teeth together. How the Sufferer put up with Karkat during his own let out, he had no idea. All this talk of giving up was just frustrating Karkat severely. He inhaled deeply, moving his hand from the bride of his nose upward to run his hand through his messy black hair, and he opened his eyes again. This time, they were sharp.

“She cares for you. She cares for you and you care for her. So why haven’t you tried? Instead of hiding behind this ‘coolkid’ BULLSHIT, you should actually try to FIND WAYS TO FUCKING SHOW YOU CARE,” Karkat said, volume raising to emphasize his point. “It’s not fucking healthy for ANYONE to hide behind a bunch of fucking lies. Who GIVES a shit if it’s ‘oh so un-fucking-cool’ to care? Stop caring about your fucking cool kid crap and start caring about HER MORE.”

Karkat’s teeth were clenched when he finished his statement, then after a brief moment, sighed and looked down, shutting his eyes. “Look, I’m sorry if you were expecting happy little sugar dust and shit like that as a coating to this, but fuck it, I’m not going to be easy on you.”

 _So he didn’t care enough.  
_ Dave snapped.  
He had a good reason, he just didn’t know it. His mind was already foggy and distracted, his usual “cool” self retreating further and further. Dave needed it to protect him, because without it he was just a bunch of feelings that had become mightier as time passed.  
He hit Karkat.  
His blood-freckled left hand flew up like it had a will of it own, clenched into a white fist he aimed for the eyes, but missed seeing he could hardly see himself. Instead he smashed him on the nose, convinced he heard something break.  
He had taken Karkat by surprise.  
Using this advantage he quickly seized the troll’s wrists and wrestled him to the ground until he was bent over him, his shades having slided down on his nose in the hustle. His mutant red eyes glowed like a roaring furnace.  
Where this anger came from he had no idea. It just appeared, like it had hidden inside him just waiting to fuck him over when the time was right.  
He leaned his head down, not caring about private zones and such. Resting his forehead on Karkat’s, the side of their noses touching, glaring at his stingy eyes with no dark glass between them.  
” _Don’t you think I care?!_ ” he hissed.  
Jade was a soft spot no one should touch.

Karkat reeled when he was hit, not expecting this from the Dave human. At all. He knew he had been fishing around, trying to get Dave to let go of his feelings, to let it all out. But it was anger and frustration that had been balled up the most inside of him, clearly, when for Karkat it was loneliness and suffering. So, obviously the reactions would be completely different. Karkat felt pretty fucking stupid at that moment.

He snapped back to focus as his wrists were grabbed, his whole being roaring to life with fury, ignoring the terrible pain in his nose. He flailed around, trying to get a strike at Dave and putting up a good wrestle until he managed to pin the furious troll to the ground. Karkat’s face was contorted into extreme anger and fury, his golden eyes glittering with his rage, teeth bared and clenched tight. It was only when Dave’s shades slipped down, when Karkat saw those bright mutant red eyes, that his eyes softened the slightest. There was more to this Dave he had in common than he realized.

The sudden proximity of their faces made Karkat’s expression return to the sharp, cutting anger that was there before, his breathing hissing through his teeth.

” _Don’t you think I care?!_ ”

That was what he said. With a loud growl, Karkat twisted one hand free, and latched his hand onto the front of Dave’s shirt, pulling Dave even harder with an angry fist against his forehead, his eyes glowing in hot fury and sparking with energy. They were like knives, boring right into Dave’s own with no sunglasses to get in the way.

“ _I DIDN’T FUCKING SAY YOU DIDN’T CARE, BITCH,_ ” Karkat hissed through his teeth. “ _I SAID YOU NEED TO **GODDAMNED SHOW IT TO HER.**_ ”

With that, Karkat used all of his strength of his fury to roughly shove Dave off of him using his free hand, before yanking his other hand free. He rolled over, now gently tending to his nose, even snapping it so whatever might have broke was back in place. He sat up, rubbing his face, shaking in pure fury. He stood up, turning to Dave with a dark glare.

“YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT HER. YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY FUCKER WHO WANTS TO MAKE SURE SHE’S HAPPY. SO FUCK YOU. I’M TRYING TO FUCKING HELP YOU SO SHE’S ULTIMATELY HAPPY, AND HEY, YOU WOULD BE ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY HAPPY TOO AS A BONUS IF SHIT WORKED OUT,” Karkat ranted angrily at Dave, body tense and every muscle on edge.

Karkat breathed heavily, waiting for a response from Dave. He exhaled slowly, drawing in a breath just as deep before adding, “You… How does it feel to finally feel?” he asked. “To let it out…”

Dave felt strangely energized. He was vaguely reminded of a time, long long ago, when he had almost drowned… The feeling of breathing again had hurt so much, burned his lungs, but the relief had drugged him enough to just be happy.  
Be happy to be alive.  
And even though he was the “coolkid”, he didn’t get in fights. He had been raised to raise himself above that and all the shit.  
His shades has fallen off in the rumble, and he put his arm over them. If he were hiding them from the weak light or from Karkat he didn’t know himself.  
  
“Feels like breathing.” Dave answered. Because it made sense. And he didn’t know what else to say, even though he was processing it all.  
Of course Karkat cared.  
Jade could make sense with a rock if she wanted to, she was just such a beautiful person, her kidness inflicted everyone…  
 _Of course_ he cared.  
But, how to show that you cared… One of life’s mysteries…  
He wasn’t angry anymore. The beast retreated as fast as it had appeared. And he didn’t even hate Karkat, all though he might should, and he had never did.  
  
Maybe because Karkat was so honest, taking no shit from anyone.  
It was admirable to say the least.

Karkat, seeing that Dave had been subdued, allowed his rigid stance to slump, and he bent over slightly, hands on his knees, looking down and catching his breath. Bright candy-red blood started to ooze slightly from his nose, but Karkat didn’t bother to hide it. After seeing Dave’s eyes he felt that there was a sort of camaraderie between them for that color they shared; eyes and blood, that genetic mutation.

Karkat looked over to Dave, his expression now neutral as he finished catching his breath. He stood up fully, wiping the blood off of his face with his hand, and began to walk over to where Dave was still laying on the ground, covering his eyes. Karkat leaned down, and extended his bloodied hand to Dave’s which was also dotted in blood, grasping it and helping the human up onto his feet.

“Now,” Karkat breathed, pulling Dave’s arm away from his face and once again looking right into his unprotected eyes, watching them for any falter. “The worst of it’s over. Trust me, it’s that first explosion that hurts the most,” he said, placing a hand on Dave’s shoulder. “But it feels so much fucking better after, doesn’t it?” he asked him.

Karkat then looked away himself, a little solemn. “It… should be a lot easier for you to open up to Jade now. To show her you care,” he said. “Because what you just did… you showed to me that you cared. After saying you didn’t have it in you to care for people,” he continued, looking back at Dave.

He frowned.

“I’m not saying to go fucking punch her. That’s not how you show someone you fucking care about them,” he added, just to be careful. Sometimes he doubted the intelligence of these humans. “But… it’ll just be so much easier. The hardest part is already over,” Karkat finished.

“What if I punch people I care for?  
Wait  
Scratch that”  
He sighed, rubbing his eyes. He felt… Unatural without his shades. Bro was the only one he didn’t freak out around when his eyes were exposed.  
But somehow he felt like he and Karkat shared something now. Wasn’t he very aware of his blood colour…?  
He let his shades lie in the grass, looking at the troll, tired and beaten but satisfied somehow.  
“… Uh, you’re nose allright?” He asked after a little while, seeing how he bled.  
“Sorry ‘bout that.”  
Maybe they would need to get back to his hive and put something on it?

Karkat rolled his eyes at Dave’s comment about punching people he cared for. He knew he wasn’t being serious, but it still irked the troll just a smidgen. Karkat somewhat picked up on Strider’s uneasiness at his eyes being exposed; probably so used to desperately hiding them like Karkat did with his own blood color.

Karkat’s attention was brought back to his nose, which still had blood dripping from it even moreso since he had pushed it back in place. It throbbed painfully. He cupped his hand under his face just in time to catch the blood- he did not want to leave any evidence behind for the other trolls to find.

“Forget about it,” Karkat answered, trying to not get blood in his mouth. He looked towards his hive which was nearby. “But I could use some help taking care of this… I can’t let any of this get on anything… they can’t know…” he started rambling as he carefully walked towards his hive.

“Sure man” Dave said, walking up beside Karkat. He didn’t need to ask anything, simply understanding the concern for his blood.  
They had more in common than he had ever guessed, actually… Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all. In fact, Dave liked him more for every second.  
He had to remember to punch him again sometime. To show that he cared.  
“I swear I won’t tell.”  
Maybe it didn’t matter at all, but at least he meant it.

Karkat was fumbling around his hive once they arrived, having Dave assist with opening and closing some doors, picking up gauze, simple things like that. After washing up and treating his nose, Karkat heard Dave promise not to tell about his blood.

Karkat managed a smile, because of the simple connective understanding they now held. He was warming up to the Dave human.

He stepped away from the sink, and nodded. “LIKEWISE,” he promised strongly in his usual voice, to show he meant it.

Karkat sauntered over to the main sitting room of his hive, gently lowering himself onto the couch and papping next to him to get Dave to sit down one more time. He then stared forward at the wall. “So, what will you do now?” he asked him.

Dave sat down. Or, he rather fell down into it, halfways laying down like he was at his own home.

“No idea. I guess I’ll go home and explain her… Err, Jade, that I’m a giant douchebag but I love her anyway. Try to… Do what you said.”  
For some reason he couldn’t repeat it, maybe because of the massive amount of f-bombs.  
“She’s with Rose at the moment though… Maybe it’s just as well. Rose is sharp as fuck and’ll probably make her feel better.  
What do you do? Like, what do you fill the days with…?” Other than wishing he was somewhere else and giving dating advice that was.

Karkat nodded knowingly. “Good. I’ll fucking hold you to it,” he replied.

Upon hearing Jade was with Rose, he frowned slightly. He hoped Rose wasn’t fucking up anything with Jade so all the work he’s done with Dave would be for naught. He shook his head, clearing his thinkpan of the idea. Karkat raised an eyebrow at the Strider human upon being asked what he does with his days.

“Besides dealing with fuckasses like you? …Dealing with fuckasses,” he responded, lightly shoving Dave to show no ill-will in the statement. He looked back out the window in front of them. He really did spend nearly all his time trying so hard to keep everyone’s shit together, make sure everything was okay…

He worked so fucking hard.

Dave wrinkled his eyebrows and raised a hand to his eyes at the unusual feeling.  
“All the time? Isn’t that- Shit”  
His eyes widened like a deer in the frontlights of a car again before he pulled himself together.  
“I forgot my shades… Probably broken anyway… Shit.” He realized he was moaning about nothing. Still, without them he felt exposed and vulnerable.  
“Uh… So you really do keep everything together, man, almost all the trolls are insane! No offense, but how the fuck do you manage?”

Karkat felt a little bad for not having helped Dave retrieve his sunglasses before going back to the hive, but as well as being distracted by taking care of his blood, he was almost positive that they would indeed be broken. Karkat was honestly surprised that Dave didn’t bring spares with him. He would have to try to think of something.

“Yeah… I don’t know how I fucking manage it either,” he said, blinking slowly, fatigued. “I think a lot of it feels like dumb luck most of the time,” he admitted simply. He closed his eyes. He was so tired… Karkat began to drift in his mind, before suddenly snapping back, blinking a few times to wake himself back up. He shook his head violently to shake off the drowsiness. He rubbed his forehead with his fingertips.

Karkat looked over to Dave, deciding to give one more nugget of advice. “Listen, you should go back and wait for Jade. That will be a first step to show her that she means something to you; because you were waiting for her,” he said, yawning. “And be sure to tell her you waited for her too. That sort of shit is deep and means something,” he concluded. Karkat rested his hand on Dave’s shoulder.

Dave didn’t mind the hand on his shoulder.  
“… You’re right man. You look pretty beaten, maybe it’s best if I leave anyway.” He gave a queer smile, his hand drifting up to his own face without him noticing.  
“Thank you bro. I mean it.” He looked at him, the cherry red eyes not blazing anymore, just softly glowing in the light, or lack of.

Karkat nodded and waved at Dave to scurry along. Karkat wasn’t really one for exchanging that sentimental shit. “Best of luck, Strider,” he started first looking straight at Dave’s red eyes, then looked away. Just as Dave was about to exit, Karkat finished for him to hear.

“Please… keep her happy.”

A pause, and then the door shut. Karkat closed his eyes, drifting immediately to rest.

Dave looked at the door for a while, then walked away.  
It was kinda sad. He wouldn’t tell Karkat that or he would surely get his ass kicked.  
He was cool. He had too much on his shoulders, but he somehow managed to juggle it.  
He got some nerve to keep it up.  
He made a mental sidenote to stop calling him Karkitty


	2. It's hard, being in a relationship, it's hard and no one understands.

Jade was exhausted in every sense of the word. Mentally, emotionally, physically. And any other way she couldn’t think of a name for right now. She rubbed the back of her neck with her hand and sighed, closing her eyes to concentrate her powers on getting back to the small house she shared with Dave. She’d spent the day with Rose on LOLAR, trying to sort her life out. Because even though they’d gotten out, broken the cycle of the game, and everything was supposed to be happy and easy now, it wasn’t.   
Jade loved Dave. She really did. But he was alway so reserved. And as much as she loved him, she hated that about him. She knew him probably better than anyone, except maybe Rose, and she still couldn’t figure out what he was thinking or feeling half the time. And so this morning she’d just…blown up. She’d stormed past him on her way to Rose’s, jostling him out of her way and shouting “Sometimes you’re not so goddamn cool, coolkid!” as she slammed open the front door and left. Rose had told her that Dave just needed time. They all needed time. They were so broken and bandaged and healing would take a long time. Maybe years. Jade had teared up and shook her head, mumbling that she wasn’t sure how long she could wait.   
She slowed her pace as she approached the door of their apartment, the paint job like a punch in the gut. When they’d moved it, she’d painted the door red and green, in an intricate pattern of wheels, cogs, planets and stars. She closed her eyes again, steeling herself for the empty house she assumed awaited her. because that’s what Dave did. He ran from him feelings. She turned the knob, it was never locked, and was shocked to see Dave sitting on the sofa, looking a bit bruised and battered, fiddling with his shades and staring at the door.   
Dave shot up. He had been lying there for what felt like years, planning the conversation in his head, thinking it all trough. The first thing he had done was fetching a pair of shades, but if he was going to do this he would do it without them.  
He would do it without the coolkid, whom he had been until hours ago where Karkat punched him into another personality because he cared.  
Or he had tried.  
And no matter how he had gone trough the coming talk in his head his words froze in his throat at the sight of her.  
She looked so tired… They were both tired. Tired of themselves. Tired of waking up next to someone who was either asleep or pretending to be, so they wouldn’t have to do the morning kiss that had turned so awkward lately.  
She was still pretty.  
No, she was more than that. She was stunning, she was warmth, she was something he knew well but never would grow bored of. She was home.  
She was Jade.  
And he was the coolkid without eyes or facial expression.

That was going to change.

“Jade… I, uh, waited for you.”  
At once a voice in the back of his head started shouting.You stuttered! You stuttered! Weakness weakness, say something ironic to make up for it!  
Jade looked at him, standing there, fumbling his shades in his hands. She shook her head slowly, not sure whether she should cry or laugh. She looked into his red eyes, her own green eyes rimmed with dark circles and shook her head again, incredulous.   
“You waited for me. great.” her voice was flat, harsh even to her own ears. She yearned to plaster on a smile and say it was all okay, thank you for waiting, but she couldn’t. Not anymore. She took a deep breath. “You waited for me for what, a couple of hours?” her voice shook and started to slowly rise in volume. “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you to actually act like you care? Do you have any idea how hard it is to just have to assume everything?” her eyes teared up and she pulled her glasses off, setting them on the end table and brushing the tears away. “I’m so tired of this stupid act of yours, Dave. When we were young, before the game screwed us all so royally, yeah it was cute and funny. but sometimes I find myself wondering if there’s even a person behind the act anymore. If it the Dave I used to know has gone as flat as your stupid fucking shades.” tears fell from her eyes slowly as she stared him down.   
Oh shit.  
He hated it when she cried.  
What had he expected? Hey, I’m here, all is cool now?  
Here you’ve made my life miserable but now you sat down at the couch so I guess we’ll make out.  
He pressed his shade against the scratches on his thumb to make himself concentrate.  
Oh yeah? Well, fine. Just leave her. Go out the door, let her be, she’ll either come running for you and all is good or she’ll not and you won’t have to deal with moody bullshit.  
Holy mother of… When did his thoughts become so angry?  
No, he needed to think rationally, he needed to show that he cared…  
So punch her! Break her nose, it’s not like she’s the only victim!  
No, stop it.  
Walk up to her! Look her in the eyes! Show how little you care!  
And he was horrified to find he would like to do that. This was scary as fuck, he just wanted to sit behind his shades again and be invincible.  
He felt vulnerable in this new way of dealing with things.  
“I…”DON’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ”Jade, I don’t know…”

Was this how he was supposed to feel? Angry?  
They had both been keeping the anger inside for so long, but damn if he was going to let it out… Not now, not on her, oh for fucks sake.   
Jade shook her head, harder this time. “That’s what you have to say to me? Really?” her voice shook, wanting to scream but she held back. She wasn’t sure why. She was always so worried about how happy everyone else was. If everyone else was okay. But she was wilting. Slowly but surely, it was becoming too much. She had to look out for herself once in awhile. Dave was silent, looking at the shades in his hands. Suddenly, something inside her snapped, breaking away from the happy, logical person she always tried to be, like a bone crunching sickeningly against concrete. ‘FUCK YOU!” she shouted, sobbing and fighting the urge to sink the the floor, her fists clenched at her sides. “Fuck you! I love you, I love you so goddamn much sometimes I swear it’s going to kill me! You know what Rose told me? She told me you needed time. Well, Dave, as far as I’m concerned, you have enough time. You are the fucking knight of it after all.” she took a deep breath, ragged and slow. Savagely, she rubbed the tears off of her cheeks. “You have to let me help you, god DAMN IT! You have known me since we were ten years old and you still won’t let me in! How long do I have to fucking wait, Dave? Because I don’t know how much more waiting this girl is willing to do!” her whole body shook, undecided whether she was angry or sad or scared or everything at once.  
Oh shit  
shit shit shit  
No no no no no no no  
Don’t be sad because of me, please, don’t let me hurt you without me even doing anything.  
Don’t let me hurt you because I don’t do anything.  
“Jade, you-”BITCH  
HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?!  
YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE ME ALONE  
YOU CAN NEVER LET ME KEEP THE SHADES ON  
YOU KEEP HAMMERING AT MY SELF DEFENCE LIKE IT WAS A TREASURE CHEST  
I’LL TELL YOU SOMETHING, WITCH  
THE INSIDE OF THIS TREASURE AIN’T HOLDING NO GOLD

He was seconds away from saying something sad, like how he couldn’t, like how he had grown up with it and it was a part of him…  
But he still somewhat ached after being ass-kicked by Karkat. The anger he had shown there was still burning in him, filling his already red eyes with fire.  
And slowly coolkid Dave regained his usual place, sitting on his psychological throne.   
“I… I know allright?! I know so. Fucking. Well. I’m hard as a stone and cold as motherfucking ice and I KNOW IT ALL. When I’m with you it feels okay UNTIL you start stealing my shades or ask about bro and the puppets and-  
You can NEVER leave it alone?! Maybe if you had stopped poking knives into me every time I open just a little bit I wouldn’t have to close again how about that?!”

He was actually opening more now than he ever had to her. Coolkid and Dave shoo hands inside his head, coming to an agreement to let the feelings flow.  
All of them.  
The burning ones, the soothing ones, the laughs and the shouts. And later, surely, the cries.   
Jade bit her lip, clenching her fists again. “Do you know how it feels to know someone for years, to live with them, and still feel like you don’t know them? Do you know how much I hate that? Because it’s true. Sometimes I feel like I don’t know anything about yoou. And yes I poke and I prod when you seem to be a little bit open because you don’t give me ANYTHING otherwise. If I never asked you how you were, or asked about the past, I would know shit about your life, and I see you ever day!” she rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands, letting out a ragged sob. “I want to know how you are damn it! I pry because you don’t leave me a fucking choice.” she looked up at him, sad and angry and tired and scared and on the edge of giving up. “Let me in, please. I’m desperate.”  
He clenched his fist, bending the support of the shades.  
He let go of them. They dropped to the floor, like some ironic metaphor.  
Always the irony, wasn’t it?  
Maybe some was in place now.  
“Ya know Jade? You’re as in as you can come. Fuck, even I don’t know what’s behind my shades.  
Why don’t you tell me. You never stop staring.  
He walked closer to her, bending a little so she could stare him right in the eyes.  
“Look. There’s nothing. Empty void. Congratulations, you now know everything there is to know about me.”

Wasn’t the plan to make her happy? To stop this endless cycle of awkward and hate they had fallen into?

There was a time for love and a time for hate.  
Now was a time to let both of them out.   
jade stood up as Dave stood closer to her and did something no one would ever expect. She shoved him, as hard as she could. “GOD DAMN YOU STRIDER.” she shouted, too angry anymore to cry. Her small fists beat at his chest. “You aren’t fucking empty and you fucking know it. Even when I ‘m screaming and yelling and this close to just giving up on everything we worked so fucking hard for, you still act like you don’t care! and I don’t mean about me! I mean about yourself!” she continued whaling away at him chest until something else snapped. All of a sudden all of her anger was gone and she was clutching his chest and sobbing “I’m sorry.” her voice was quiet, broken up by her sobs. “I’m so, so sorry. It’s my fault. It’s my fault you’re like this.” she shook her head and traced his chest gently. She knew where each bullet had torn through him, exactly. This body didn’t have any scars. But she knew just the same. Her sobbing racked her entire body, as she placed a slight finger where each bullet wound should have been and murmured apology after apology. “Maybe it’s wasn’t really you that day, but it was still you in a way, and something in you died. And I’ll never forgive myself.”  
Wait  
What?  
This had turned quickly.

She had hit him. She never hit him, she had never disturbed a hair on his head…  
And suddenly she blamed herself.

And still, with all that was going on now, he liked the feel of her. The fresh smell of forest and dew-wet grass, the heavy warmth of someone who relied on you…  
She had killed him. She had. But he had been a statue long before it…  
“Why do you always blame yourself…” He murmured.  
She was a rather tiny girl, even though she was pretty much the same height as him.  
When he placed one hand on the back of her head and the other around her, burying his face in her hair, it felt like something inside him broke.  
What was he supposed to say? “It’s not you, it’s me”? That would be a lie, and it sounded like he was saying goodbye…  
No  
No  
Jade was the best thing he had. The best thing that had happened to him. Whatever had broke inside him flooded to his eyes, and he did his best to keep from being pathetic.  
But maybe, just for once, having flaws wouldn’t hurt.  
He struggled to control his breath, feeling like he was breathing for the both of them, clutching her to him as if he was about to fall of a cliff and she was his only hope.  
“It’s… Not your fault”  
Fuck. His voice broke.  
“It never is…”   
She shook her head again, still clinging to him. “But it is!” she sobbed. “It will always be my fault. I shot you. I didn’t mean to, but I did. I can tell you where every single bullet ripped through your chest. the scars aren’t there but I feel them every time I touch you anyway. I killed you. My dog turned into a monster and killed everybody. I should have found a way to stop him. To stop everything.” she sobbed harder for a moment, her breathing hurting her chest as she cried, to upset to speak. “if I hadn’t let us play the game, your bro would never have died, you would have never had to split your timeline to save all of us and the universe again and again.” she shook her head again, releasing Dave to wipe at her eyes, rubbing the tears away. Her voice was still shaking and it was low and quiet. “I’ll never be sorry enough. I knew it would all go wrong and I had to let you guys do it anyway. I wanted to stop you and I knew I couldn’t. Everything is my fault.” she started crying harder again, placing her hand on his chest again, over his heart, where the bullets that had killed him had left the most blood. “Especially what happened to you.” her voice was so low as to almost be a whisper, and for lack of strength to do anything else, she let herself finally fall to the ground, sobbing.  
Fuck  
No  
He pulled her up again, his grip maybe a bit harder than it should be, forcing her to stand. With a more gentler touch he pushed her chin to face him, meeting her swimming eyes.  
He didn’t know how long he just looked at her.  
“You’re the only one who blame yourself.” He hissed, trying to knock sense into her.  
“John was the one who made us pay the fucking game in the start. You have saved our assesso many times I can’t even count them.  
No, look at me dammit.” Her head was falling to the side, as if she couldn’t bear him trying to defend her from herself.  
“Jade, Jade!  
Look. Look at me.” She had to see him now. Now or never.  
She was right about one thing. His eyes weren’t empty.  
They were filled with contained tears that he struggled to keep back.   
They were soft in a way they had probably never been before.  
“Look at me. I love you.”

It might very well be the most true thing he had ever said. In fact, he couldn’t even remember if he had ever told her before… Had she just gone around, assuming that was what he meant?  
“I don’t blame you. For anything. No one but yourself blame you for anything.  
And you didn’t fucking prototype the devilbeast. You’re far to smart. He did it himself, and you know why?  
Because he cared and wanted to protect you, just like me. Just like every motherfucker you meet.  
And you know whythat is?  
Because you’re beautiful. No, you’re stunning. You have a voice that could melt ice. You have eyes that outshines the goddamn sun itself.  
Look at me.” He had caught her attention now.  
“I love you. And I will keep doing that until you love yourself.  
I’ll do what it takes. You want me to open? I’ll open wide for you. I don’t know how but fuck that, I’ll do it anyway.  
I’ll keep the shades off for you so you don’t have to remove them. I’ll talk, whatever you want, justpleaseJade…”  
Holy fuck she was crying a river here.  
He guessed he was too. It was hard to tell really.  
He couldn’t remember last time he cried.  
“Jade… I promise. I swear on whatever’s left of my soul. You can have it. Just don’t blame yourself, for fucks sake!”   
jade looked at Dave as he held her still, her greens eyes wide and dripping with tears. She tried to look down, his intense stare unsettling her after so many years of staring into his shades and only seeing her own sad eyes reflected back at her. But he wouldn’t let her. For once it was him forcing her to look him in the eye, him forcing her to listen to reason. And she did the only thing she could think to do. She started crying even harder, because when she finally looked back up at him, he was crying too. Suddenly she grabbed him and hugged him, wrapping her arms around him as tightly as she could, like she was trying to hold together all their broken pieces, make everything whole again. She sobbed into his shoulder, clutching at him. She nodded her head, finally lifting her head up without letting go.   
“I’ll try. I will try for you, I will try for us, I will try for me. I, I don’t know how long it will take. But I’ll try, as long as you try too..” she put a hand to the side of his face, her tearful eyes meeting his. “You don’t have to worry with me. You can cry and shout and scream and smile all you want. I’ll still think you’re the coolest kid in the world. Because you’re Dave Strider, my best friend. So if you try, I’ll try. And we’ll get through this somehow, I promise. We’ll get through it together. We got through hell in that game together. We can get through this.” she rested her head against his chest, allowing herself to trace the path of the bullets one last time. “I love you. The you inside here. And all the other yous.” she pressed her hand to his heart and looked up at him, attempting to smile.  
He kissed the broken smile away. He was done with fake feelings.  
… At least with her. For now, she was the only one worth it.  
“I love you too.” He said.  
No, he breathed it, inhaling the feelings and exhaling the words. A new kind of breathing.

“… Tell me, how is it. To finally feel.”  
“Feels like breathing, man.”

He would have to thank Karkat for care-punching him and sending his kicked ass home.

“We… We can do what you want. If you wanna talk we’ll do that, if you just wanna go to bed we can do that. We have the rest of our lives after all.  
No need to hurry.”   
Jade allowed a smile to slip onto her face as Dave kissed her, and then ducked, leaning her head against his chest, letting herself feel the beat of his heart to remind her it was still there, still beating, still him. She hugged him tightly once more, her arms wrapping around his ribcage and holding on as tightly as she was capable. “I think we’ve talked enough tonight. Well, I suppose it was more like yelling, hehe.” her signature giggle slipped from her throat for what felt like the first time in months. “And with all this fighting, and going to Rose’s, I’m pretty tired. SO I think I’ll just lay down.” she smiled at him brightly, resting her forehead on his chin. “Pinky promise me we’ll stay like this. Open. Even if it means hurting sometimes. I think we’re something worth fighting for.” she grinned up at him, the sparkle finally back in her large green eyes.  
This was better. She still looked tired, but more like she had just woken up from a long nap kind of tired. And when she smiled like she was supposed to, like she always did, he got reminded of why he loved her.  
Why she was worth it.  
“Even if it hurts.” he promised.  
“And I’ll join you in a minute, okay?”   
She smiled and nodded, stretching and yawning and she gently released, shaking her bangs out in the way Dave always said reminded him of a puppy. She kissed his hand quickly, before he released her pinkie. “Okay. I’ll see you then.” she paused for a second and smiled. “Coolkid.” she grinned at him one last time, and turned to head for the room, ready to shed everything from that day, crawl into a baggy shirt and fall asleep. She was still tired, but nothing a good long sleep wouldn’t help with. A good long sleep, and waking up to open her eyes to her best friend.


	3. Chapter 3

When Karkat awoke after his dismissal of Dave, he rubbed his eyes sleepily, cursing rather loudly when he accidentally bumped his nose. It still hurt. He checked the time, seeing that he actually hadn’t been resting for very long—just long enough that Dave would have gotten home and perhaps waited for a while?

Karkat hadn’t used the viewport in a long time. There was no reason to. But for Karkat, as much as he hated to admit this to himself, the turnout of his lesson was too important to him.

He had to watch.

He got up and quickly ascended the stairs to his hive, going to the old dusty computer he barely used anymore that still contained the software he needed. He blew on the screen, swatting at the air and grumbling to himself when the dust poofed everywhere. He pushed the button, holding his breath.

It turned on.

Exhaling in relief, he looked around nervously, as if he himself was paranoid about being watched. After examining his surroundings for a bit, he finally sat down and booted up the viewport software to current time, focus on Dave.

The screen popped up. Loading…

The pixels cleared, sound came through.

_~“Ya know Jade? You’re as in as you can come. Fuck, even I don’t know what’s behind my shades._   
_Why don’t you tell me. You never stop staring._   
_He walked closer to her, bending a little so she could stare him right in the eyes._   
_“Look. There’s nothing. Empty void. Congratulations, you now know everything there is to know about me.”~_

Karkat stared blankly at the screen.  _What the fuck?_ He then examined Jade. Crying. Karkat clenched his teeth.

The fucker made her cry, and he was still being an asshole. Karkat had to keep himself from hitting the screen.

Karkat’s rage was boiling very quickly as he watched and listened, Jade retaliating with so much pain in her voice… then suddenly it was gone. The rage behind her voice was gone, and it just was pure pain.

Karkat flinched, leaning away from the screen. He didn’t want to hear that. His chest ached for her. He bonked himself on the head, closing his eyes.

_Stop it. She’s not yours._

He shook his head, clearing his thinkpan and looking back at the screen. He leaned back in his chair, exhaling in relief. Things were patched up. Jade was even laughing again.

Karkat saw all he needed to. He shut off the terminal and went back downstairs, laying down on the couch he had dozed off on before.

Dave arrived in the transportalizer at his own little shack. It had been cleverly used lately, still it was as empty and anonymous as he was. Or had been.  
He exited it and started walking. The atmosphere here was always so heavy, so tight, threatening to choke him and stop this new way of breathing he had just learned.  
He eventually winded up at Karkat’s hive and knocked. His eyes were slightly red, but so were his cheeks, and a small smile that had never existed before lingered on his lips. 

Karkat’s eyes flew open at the knock on the door. He hadn’t been sleeping, but was caught completely off guard. Who could be here now? If it’s Dave, why wasn’t he still with Jade? Did he completely miss something?

Karkat sat up and crossed the room, quickly yanking the door open to see Dave standing before him, eyes slightly reddened from tears, smiling ever so lightly. Although this assured Karkat that things were fine and well, he still couldn’t just quite forgive Dave’s asshole move.

His expression contorted to anger, and he grabbed Dave by the front of his shirt, dragging him into the hive and slammed him against the wall, lifting Dave by the front of his shirt slightly.

“THAT’S FOR BEING A FUCKASS,” Karkat proclaimed loudly. After lingering like that for a moment, Dave more than likely completely caught off guard, Karkat softened his expression and gently released Dave, then stepped back.

“And that,” he started, “is for fixing it.” He, of course, was referring to the fact that he wasn’t giving Dave a good thrashing.

Well that was a nice welcome.  
His head was fogged by feelings, he hadn’t even considered Karkat might have watched them. He knew he could, he just… Had been thinking of other things.  
The good thing was he knew Karkat enjoyed seeing his eyes widen like a deer in the frontlights of a car.  
Especially without his shades.  
“Thank you?” Dave said as soon as he got his breath back, still a sting of sarcasm in his words as he rubbed his chest in an  _almost_ offended way.  
“Oh yeah. I just wanted to say thanks for punching sense into me. I needed that.” 

Karkat allowed himself the slightest of smiles, giving Dave a couple of paps on the chest before he walked back into the main room of his hive where he sat down, motioning it was alright to stay a bit if he so wished. He looked over at Dave when he was thanked.

He let a snick of a laugh escape. “It’s nothing. Believe me, I’ve been dealt a good slapping when I’ve needed it before too,” Karkat explained, remembering when Jack Noir gave him a good beating when he had flipped shit at Sollux’s death.

“So, I’m guessing things are good now?” Karkat asked, now staring forward at the wall. He wasn’t able to look at Dave due to his own compromising feelings.

“Yeah. We have a deal. I’ll open up to her if she stops blaming herself.  
I guess you watched it?” Dave walked up to him, kinda leaning to the side to get in Karkat’s view.  
From now on he would always be a little paranoid when people couldn’t look at him. 

Karkat nodded, still refusing to look at Dave and turning his head ever so slightly when he tried to lean into Karkat’s view. As much as he cared, it was still hard to push himself from having his emotions for Jade. But he knew it wasn’t his place to do anything about it and would have to carry on.

“I caught the last half I think. I don’t know how much went on before what I saw,” he replied, fiddling with his thumbs. “I probably shouldn’t have, but I just had to be sure…”

“It’s cool bro. I know you care ‘bout her too.” Dave said, matter-of-factly, and leaned even more.  
Maybe he was pushing it, but he was practically drugged by feels at the moment. 

Karkat frowned. _YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW FUCKING MUCH,_  was all the thought at that comment, now obviously making attempts to lean away from Dave’s searching eyes. He knew it was making it obvious that there was something up, but Karkat didn’t give two fucks, honestly.

Shit, now he knew what it felt like to Dave when Karkat was digging for answers using his own eyes as force. It wasn’t very comfortable.

“So… What’s up…?” Dave said, dragging every vocal sound out as long as he could.  
Because obviously something was up. He didn’t stop trying to catch the orange eyes, growing more and more suspicious. 

Karkat, his expression growing more and more bothered, finally gave in and looked Dave directly in the eyes. He wasn’t sure how keen Dave would be at catching his emotions; he had years of practice of hiding himself inside, and the Signless was the only one who had truly dug past the hard outer shell that Karkat kept up almost constantly.

“Nothing,” Karkat said carefully. “Everything is fine. I’m happy for you two,” he finished, each sentence more careful than the last. He was genuinely please that things worked out, in honesty. However, there was that little piece of him that wondered.

_What if._

Karkat didn’t blink that whole time he held Dave’s attention. This time he was searching Dave’s own cherry red eyes for any reaction.

Dave’s pink tint around his eyes made the redness seem softer. Or maybe it was because something finally worked out.  
But he caught something from the orange lights. Something he couldn’t quite word, but could recognize…  
Karkat wanted her to be happy.  
But she might as well be happy with Karkat as well as Dave.  
  
He wasn’t mad. He wasn’t jealous. In fact, he dumped down beside him and looked perfectly content.  
“You know what? You remind me of my bro.” He said suddenly.  
“He was so ironic he kinda shot trough the top and appeared on the bottom of the irony ladder again, without even noticing.  
He was so cool he became just freaky, too advanced for anyone to understand.”  
  
Karkat was a lot like that.  
He hid his emotions so well it had become natural, and therefore when he actually made an effort to do this he achieved the opposite.  
Instead of acting natural now he was clearly hiding something.  
Dave didn’t need to know what. 

Karkat was taken aback when Dave seemed to understand it exactly. Not only that, but he didn’t ignore it. Then on top of THAT, he wasn’t even mad. Karkat expected him to be defensive, maybe even issue Karkat a warning or something along those lines. He knew that Jade was important to him, and had figured Dave would dislike any possible threat.

Karkat didn’t consider himself a threat, of course. He knew to keep to his boundaries.

Karkat looked at Dave, confused, but listening to him comparing Karkat to his Bro. Karkat frowned, but not angrily. “How the fuck am I ironic?” he asked, almost dejectedly. He wasn’t sure if he liked that irony shit.

 _How ironic isn’t it that the master of control and dating advice has the most problems in his own home? His own mind?  
_ “I didn’t mean that. I just meant… Know what? Think about it for a second.”  
He wasn’t teasing him, which made it all weirder. 

Karkat was looking at Dave rather confused. He didn’t understand the big deal about irony, and the fact that most of the time Karkat remains oblivious to his own obvious issues concerning his emotions didn’t help much.

“I still don’t understand what the fuck you’re getting at, but whatever,” Karkat dismissed it, now looking at the floor again. It was hard for him to talk to others about things; he was always the one that people went to. He never learned how to be the one on the other end.

He always kept people shut out.

Like Strider.

But less ironically.

Karkat pondered before exhaling. “What does it feel like to have someone care for you?” he asked, now looking back up, but not at Strider. “And not in the fucking guardian sense,” he added, throwing a tiny bit of his temper in there as a sad attempt to make himself seem like he wasn’t being sensitive.

Dave tilted his head. He had two options.  
Saying he was used to it and surely pissing Karkat off,  letting him off the hook at the same time.  
Or keep pushing.  
“A lot like caring for somebody, just lighter. Not so many problems resting on my shoulders.”  
There, a sentence made just for Karkat. If he didn’t catch the hint towards himself he was surely dumb. 

Karkat didn’t say anything to that. He mulled this over in his thinkpan, pretty sure what Dave was getting at. He closed his eyes, smiled, and nodded.

“That… sounds nice,” he said, not opening his eyes. Karkat laced his fingers together, resting his chin on them when he set his elbows to his knees. Trying to imagine what that felt like.

“Dave, I’ve underestimated you,” Karkat started, straightforward. “You’ve turned out to be a much deeper person than I think you yourself would have expected. I don’t know if I beat it out of your ass or something,” he said with a chuckle, “but, it’s been much easier for me to enjoy your company since then.”

Karkat then finally opened his eyes, looking back over at Dave with a smug expression. “Don’t let that go to your fucking head, got it?” he asked, serious but teasing.

“Now it’s too late dog  
You got me walking on clouds here” Dave managed an excellent stoned face before sinking back.  
“Same to you. I thought you were just a loudmouth who hated everything.  
Who would have guessed you care more than most?”  
Woha, he almost stirred his own feelings there.  
“I wouldn’t have kept control like that. I can only keep control of myself, not others…” He looked over at the troll, his eyes twinkling.  
 _Hint hint_

Karkat rolled his eyes. “Yeah, who would have fucking guessed?” No one usually, because they were always too busy being wrapped up in the shit they caused.

Karkat’s expression suddenly changed to a thoughtful one. As if he just figured something out. He then looked at Dave, annoyed.

“Are you insinuating that I can’t control my own shit?” he asked grumpily. Not that Dave wasn’t spot on, but Karkat really hated admitting to it, and even less enjoyed having it pointed out to him.

“Yeah.” Dave said honestly, not pulling that _No, you just told me yourself_  bullshit  
“The worst is I can’t even make fun of it.”  
He actually kind of envied Karkat…  
Karkat was a hero. Just like John was a hero.  
Karkat had the masses, people would follow him.  
Everyone knew that Dave cared for himself and himself only. 

Karkat fumed quietly, obviously searching for a retort. But as his thinkpan buzzed… well, he really didn’t handle his own shit well. Fuck.]

Karkat was confused about that last statement though. “What do you mean ‘can’t even make fun of it’? Not that I would fucking appreciate that though,” he added with a frown. He recognized that distant look in Dave’s eyes. He was thinking about something obviously, something that weighed on him.

It wasn’t Jade this time.

Karkat cleared his throat.

“LAY UNTO ME YOUR FUCKING SHIT, AND UNBURDEN YOURSELF OF YOUR FUCKING SORROW. Or whatever the fuck the Signless says to everyone,” Karkat sighed after. He really wasn’t that great at it, and decided he would leave that sort of phrasing to Signless from now on.

“Talk to ya?  
More?  
Taking care of everyone’s shit is going to kill you you know. You’ll get so full of this shit there will be pieces of Karkat everywhere.”  
He smiled, but the smile was strange and missplaced. Probably because it felt new.  
“And you know what, Karkitty?” Some friendly teasing. “It probably feels like everyone ignores that, but you’re a natural leader.  
I’m not even kidding. You’re like fucking Napoleon, your followers following you into victory or loss.”  
  
After this night of emotional bullshit he had to fix his language again. He sounded like a poet.

Karkat shrugged. “I really doubt I would fucking explode, I’ve honestly dealt with far worse. You know that,” he said, referring to the high amount of stress he shouldered during the game.

Karkat grimaced and made an almost gagging face briefly at the name “Karkitty”, but he didn’t go too overboard with it because he knew now it wasn’t to drive him up the wall. He shrugged. “I don’t know who that Napoledoo or whatever the fuck that guy’s name is, but I’ll take it you mean well,” he responded.

When Karkat saw Dave smile, he noticed behind his eyes that it still felt new to him. Oh man, he could relate. He had only started being able to smile recently thanks to the Sufferer.

He looked back over to Dave. “You’ve taken good care of fixing shit up too. Every single one of your… yous? I don’t even fucking know. You know what I mean,” Karkat said. Dave had indeed saved a lot of his friends’s lives through his time shenanigans. Karkat hadn’t forgotten that.

Dave became silent.  
“… You know what dog? I have. But I always did it for myself.  
I’ve always been like that. If I can’t gain anything I won’t do it.  
You’re the complete opposite.  
  
You know, it’s just now I’ve started to get my shit together. Like, when I told Gamzee he trashed me in the rap battle.  
That tasted shit coming out you know. But he got happy.  
Or opening to Jade. Making her happy, giving me nothing.  
  
Maybe you got it the same way, starting to do things not because the life and sanity of your friends depends on it, but because it would make shit easier for you?”

Karkat looked surprised. He didn’t expect that. Yet another layer of the Dave shell had been peeled back. He looked away, thoughtful.

“But in the long run, it was worth it, right?” Karkat asked, before looking back at Dave. “Like breathing…?” he finished with a small grin.

He then frowned, looking away at a sort of angle. “All the things I’ve done to hold everything together, it was for all of us. I wasn’t doing it to be a hero. Fuck, I might have done it for selfish reasons at first. Wanting to show them all up I guess, prove I wasn’t worthless. But… things changed. Then I kept them together because all we had left was each other,” he elaborated.

At the mention of doing things to make shit easier for himself, Karkat shook his head with a quiet chuckle. “I don’t even know how the fuck to do that, I’ll be honest with you,” he said, looking Dave right in the eyes again. “and to be honest, even though it can be as stressful as all shit-piss to take care of others… it’s rewarding in its own way in the long run. You see them okay, maybe even happy. Having a part in that…” he trailed off.

Karkat didn’t know where this was all coming from. He was starting to sound like someone he regarded highly.

“There’s the key word dog.  
Being the leader is rewarding in the long run.  
Being a selfish prick is rewarding right here, right now.  
  
… I’ll tell ya something. I don’t know why because you’ll probably loose faith in my again. But if I could, I’d loose my friends and go back to living mostly alone with only myself to care about.  
I don’t say I would go back in time or shit, I’m just saying… If I could burn all the bridges I’ve built with people then damn me I’d do it.”  
He looked ashamed, staring at the floor.  
“It’s… It’s nice to make others happy. But it’s scary as shit to have someone rely on you. If I fuck up, I don’t only fuck myself up, imagine that…!”

Karkat’s head snapped around as fast as his mood to look at Dave. “IMAGINE FUCKING THAT,” he started ranting, any calmness in him obviously gone in a flash. “PRETTY FUCKING SCARY SHIT TO HAVE TO CARRY EVERYONE ON YOUR SHOULDERS. BECAUSE I DON’T FUCKING KNOW WHAT THAT’S LIKE,” he kept going. “WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I’M ALWAYS STRESSED?”

Karkat stopped, inhaling deep and making the mistake of trying to pinch the bridge of his nose in irritation and causing a great amount of pain to himself, in which he swore loudly and flailed his arms.

“Why the fuck would you want to burn any support you have?” he then asked, calmed down. “It fucking sucks to hold yourself together alone.”

“That’s because you’re not used to it!” Dave said.  
“Just say it. The thought of being alone is as frightening to you as the thought of being with others is to me.  
We’re two sides of the same shit man.”

Karkat frowned. “I’m used to being alone. I’ve isolated myself because of my _fucking blood._  I’m alone here too. You’re less alone than I am, honestly,” Karkat pointed out. “You have Jade,” he said before trailing off, lost in thought again. Most likely a subconscious effort to keep himself from spilling too much.

“Yeah… I wonder how it would have been if you had Jade instead…  
She’d do you good. I mean, she does everyone good, but…”

Karkat froze, unsure of where to head with this now. How much did Dave really truly know? He wasn’t going to get in the way, he had commanded himself of this. It wasn’t his place.

But Karkat found himself at a loss for words for once.

It was silent for way too long. He then closed his eyes, looking down, speaking under a whisper.

“ _It’s not my place…_ ”

Dave knew he had done something. If it was right or wrong he didn’t know.  
“I know. But… What if it had been?”  
Dave took the liberty of taking hold of Karkat’s chin, turning his head so they locked eyes.  
“Do you have any ideas how many timelines there is…? How many possible outcomes there has been? How many wicked things I’d never thought would be possible, but I’ve seen with my own eyes as I passed trough?  
I saw one where Gamzee died. THis dragon things shot up from the ocean and just swallowed him, and he didn’t care, he just took it. As if he knew it was going to happen.  
His lusus I think.  
I saw the one where Jade shot me. Emptied a gun in my chest and saw me bleed to death.  
And, I’ve seen a lot of ones where we met… In the game. Where the trolls and the humans got together early.  
Rose and Kanaya ended up going out. Egbert and Vriska tried, both fangirling over Nick Cage, but Vriska finished him off after he annoyed her.  
In that timeline I was already dead. I had fallen out the window.  
Remember I told you that? That I had planned my death that way?  
I was right.  
  
And seeing you take care of Jade and help her recover from almost everyone dying and her blaming herself moved me. Because, honestly, I care more for her than anything.  
SHe’d be good for you.  
You’d be good for her.”

Karkat, upon having his chin held out of the blue, was about to flip some serious shit until he saw the solemn seriousness behind Dave’s eyes. He softened his own expression, and decided to hold still and hear Strider out.

He had a very valid point, and Karkat was very surprised at how much Strider knew about the various timelines. True, he was the Knight of Time, but he didn’t think he would know about…  _all_  the timelines.

But all those timelines… why did that matter?

Karkat closed his eyes, but his head was still held in place by Strider. “That may be true, but those are _those_  timelines. Not mine,” he answered. “Timelines that were obviously doomed.”

Then another question rose. “…I remember that whole bit about planning your own death. Why? Why did you go through with it?”

Dave let go of him and leaned back.  
“… It’s hard to explain. It was sorta an experiment” He bit his lip, something he never did.  
“I just wanted to check… Err.  
I don’t… I’m not okay with death. With any death. And since I travel a lot in time I keep finding these loose timelines where I die.  
Fuck, almost every timeline kills me.  
I just needed to know if, if I planned to kill myself, if I would actually do it. If I had the courage.  
I know it’s stupid. But I’ve done it so many times now…! Pushed myself in front of a stampede, drowned myself, strangled myself with my own belt. Making all these doomed Daves so I have an excuse…  
  
But I can’t get used to the thought that one day I’ll die for real.  
So, that’s what I do. Check on my past selves to try and learn something.” 

Fuck.

As much as Karkat was glad the focus was off of him, he had to admit that was pretty dark shit. Karkat was used to the idea of death; it loomed around his head every waking day in troll society. Don’t do this, or else you will die. Do that, or else you will die. That sort of shit.

Then, during the game, Karkat spent every single day expecting everyone’s death. It was just something that was there. He had seen his best friend die, and so many others. It was just always there.

Human society didn’t hover so much on it, he guessed.

Karkat let out a whuff of a laugh. “If it makes you feel any better, I still can’t get used to the fact we survived,” he retorted.

“I know right!” Dave smiled wider, exposing his teeth.  
“I love it when things work for once.” 

Karkat almost jumped at the sudden flash of teeth. Dave’s either REALLY feeling good, has fucking lost it, or is trying a bit too hard to hide something. Karkat held to this suspision, but not visibly.

Karkat frowned though. “Yeah, that part is nice. But it would be nice to have hope now and again,” he finished with a sigh. That was easier to come by nowadays, but not by much.

He still had a lot of caretaking he had to do to make sure no one kills each other.

“Hope? Why would you need that. Honestly. What happens happens, whenever you hoped it would or not.” He shrugged.  
Had he really gone trough a lot of life following his own advice? Not hoping?  
  
Yeah. And it was pretty easy.  
“The key to no broken expectations is no expectations at all.” 

Karkat still frowned, furrowing his brows. “But it’s pretty fucking miserable to expect the worst all the time,” he added. Oh man he was tired of always expecting the worst.

He wasn’t like Dave in that aspect. It had to be one medium or the other, good or bad expectations. If he expected nothing then there was no use for involvement.

You would just sit there being useless.

It pissed Karkat off just thinking about it.

“… Maybe.” Dave said, obviously disagreeing but not making a scene out of it.  
“But as you said, if you think only bas shit will happen the good shit is even more welcome.” 

Karkat gave Dave a look. “Yeah, but then as soon as that good feeling’s over, you’re back to the bad shit again,” he said.

“That’s when you stop playing while the game is good!” Dave kept on

Karkat’s expression went sour. “If I had that fucking attitude we would all be dead!” he started. He felt a rant coming on. “If I had that kind of attitude, I wouldn’t have given two shits about helping you out with Jade!” he added, volume rising

“IF I HAD THAT SHIT-NUGGET ATTITUDE,” Karkat proclaimed, but then stopped. He brought a clenched fist down onto his leg, growling in frustration.

Karkat looked over to Dave, with an expression he wouldn’t have expected to show Dave. Pain. He was tired of walking on eggshells about this. Who gives a fuck if Dave knows just how much he cared.

Maybe it would teach him to care even more and be careful, knowing he wasn’t the only one.

“If you really have that attitude, you can’t possibly expect things to last with her,” he breathed, frustration in his tone. “That’s like saying you’ll leave her when things are great. Because then it’s ‘Hey, ended on a great fucking note, thanks for the good times!’. It doesn’t work like that,” Karkat continued, both of his hands clenched into fists on his knees.

Karkat held still for a moment, before unclenching his hands and running them through his hair, head down and elbows still on his knees. He kept his hands buried in the messy black hair.

“It may not be my place,” he finally said, not looking up. “It’s not my place… to be with her. But I swear to you. You fuck her emotions up, if you were to so much as hurt her in that way,” he said, bringing his head back up, eyes swimming with fire and determination and locked right onto Dave’s. “I will fuck your shit up so badly. You’d better believe it.”

His voice on that last statement was cold yet burning. Cruel but passionate. He meant every word. He wasn’t meaning it as a hostility at Dave, in a sense. He had no ill will towards him.

He just had to get a point across, because that attitude Dave mentioned scared him.

Dave leaned away from the fires that had replaced Karkat’s eyes.  
Was this was he had been aiming for…? For Karkat to loose it?  
He understood how he felt.  
And that was exactly why he wasn’t mad.  
Karkat _cared_ about Jade. Cared, maybe even more than Dave did at the moment.  
  
Strider realized he had indirectly threatened her, saying he had no hope and would leave before things got bad, scarring her.  
If… If he only could take Karkat with him trough the timelines. Show him how happy Jade was with him instead of Dave. This guy needed to know how much he actually meant, more than in a “I’m-the-thread-that-keeps-shit-together” way.  
  
He had heard somewhere that Karkat hated himself… His past self.  
yeah, Jade had told him she once was stuck in the middle of a convo between past Karkat and future Karkat, acting as a peace keeper between them.  
Dave wanted, maybe more than anything, to show Karkat how much he could have done if they had switched roles. How absolutely fucking terrible the timeline where he took the control instead of Egbert, ending up trapping everyone in some empty void where shit went crazy.  
…  
And about there Dave realized what he wanted.  
He wanted the same for Karkat as he did for Jade, for him to appreciate himself and not judge by what he had done in the past, good or bad.  
  
“… You know what?” Dave said silently, not breaking eye contact.  
“I think I just figured something out.”  
It would have been annoying seeing how unrelated it was, but his voice was low and brimming with some weird emotion.   
“You and Jade are so much like each other it’s unreal.  
You’d do anything for those you care about  
You hide emotions under one main one that you show the world  
And you are both your own worst enemy.  
I can’t believe I didn’t see this before.”  
His eyes twinkled strangely.  
“That’s why I’m not mad at you for wanting her. I know you would take better care of her, you would know what she wanted, understand her better.  
But that can’t happen because she feels like she’s still responsible for us, just like you feel like you have to keep shit together here. Like, in the end, it’s all your fault.  
Both of you.  
Jade is disgusted by her past self just like you, she actually beat it senseless and sent it off crying. You would do the same if you could.  
Like you’re weaker, like you were dumber, when in fact there’s not much change at all-  
You just can’t handle the thought of you hurting and harassing others.”  
  
Dave looked completely mindblown.

Karkat’s face flickered slightly to surprise. He didn’t see that coming. His expression then went soft and to an almost resigned look. It fucking hurt to be told “you two are great for each other, bluh bluh bluh but it’s not going to happen”.

Although there was one bit Dave was wrong about. Karkat didn’t give a fuck if he hurt or harassed others, unless it was someone he cared about.

Anyone else though can go fuck themselves.

But, as much as Karkat hated to admit it to himself, Dave basically hit the nail right on the head. This was reflected obviously in his own eyes now.

Karkat rested his face in his hands, which slowly slid up through his hair once more. The feelings he couldn’t fight, on top of having it pushed more in his face… then what confused him even more was that Dave wasn’t even _mad._

Karkat couldn’t take this plethora of contrasting and conflicting emotions. He dug his fingers into his scalp, frustrated.

For once Dave shut up, rethinking what he had said.  
Woha.  
Maybe he was a deep motherfucker after all…?  
He just sat back, letting Karkat react how he wanted to. He could isolate himself and deny the truth, or he could… Give in in some way? Maybe?  
He took a couple of deep breaths.  
“… Sorry man.” He said, his voice dripping with regret, looking extremely uncomfortable.  
Imagine if someone had just ripped _him_ apart and thrown the contents around like that? The horror. 

Karkat’s breathing was slow and even. Withdrawn. Thinking. He didn’t even know how to react. He must have let Dave a bit too deep, because he had never been picked out like that before. Sure, the Signless understood his suffering, his trials, what he had gone through.

But Dave actually pulled his personality out. That’s never happened before. And it was his REAL personality, not the outer personality he flaunted so much.

He dragged his hands back down, fingers lightly brushing over his horns. Then, they dropped uselessly to his lap. Karkat wouldn’t look up. He couldn’t.

It hurt too much.

Way too fucking much.

Dave kept silent for a little while. Then he allowed one of his hands to drift over to Karkat’s.  
Not in any filthy, suggesting way. He didn’t even take it, just let two fingers linger at the tips of his, to show that he cared.  
Because he did.  
Sometime else he might hate him, but right now he cared.  
“… Man?” He said with a low voice, more a reminder that he was still there and the real life existed than an attempt to get his attention.

Karkat exhaled a shaky breath from the contact from Dave. His chest, his cardiovascular pumper, his everything was just burning. Not angry burning. Just. Burning.

Karkat was always used to accepting his bad luck. But it’s never hurt this bad. He inhaled deeply, lifting his head and looking out the window in front of his view, golden eyes just barely laced with red liquid.

He sighed, closing his eyes and giving a very weak, disheartening smile. He hated showing weakness in front of others. But that was the very last thing on his mind now.

“Yes?” Karkat responded, his voice quiet.

Dave didn’t hurt his feelings. Reality did.

“… You’re gonna be alright.” 

Karkat made a weird sort of noise; a mix between a laugh and what would be choking up. It sure as hell didn’t feel like it would be.

But at the same time…

As long as Jade was happy, he could be too.

Sort of.

Karkat moved his hand away from Dave’s and rested it on his shoulder, tightening his grip but not painfully.

Karkat then rested his head on his hand, perched on Strider’s shoulder, red tears very much threatening to escape.

“I sure fucking hope so.”

Dave took a moment to brush the hair out of Karkat’s face.  
He had done this before… Not with him, but wit Jade. He made sure his fingers were careful because he knew Karkat probably didn’t like it when his head was touched. Who did.  
Then he lightly rested his head against the troll’s. Just enough for him to feel the weight of another being without getting crushed or choked.  
How long did he sit like that? Resting, breathing, pretending he didn’t see the watery red tears that from time to time broke loose.  
Just existing. Just feeling.  
  
Just… Breathing. 

Karkat didn’t know what to do. Despite his current emotional state, he got a little uneasy at first, not sure where the fuck Strider was going with this.

But, when Dave had rested on him, he didn’t move. He blinked a couple times, then closed his eyes, giving them a break.

And like Dave, he just breathed. He just let it go. It was always going to hurt a bit. But Dave wasn’t an asshole about it. Karkat focused on the presence of another being there, taking the time to make sure he was okay.

The pain calmed down, replaced with warmth.

As much as Dave may have put up a front, very deep down he was a caring guy. Maybe Karkat was cared for more than he had guessed.

Karkat smiled.

After a while Dave sat up straight again, looking over at the troll.  
He seemed to be doing better now. He didn’t look as… Pained as he had. Actually, when he thought about it, Karkat usually looked like he was in pain. His face was either gaping wide and shouting or tight in a “No, fuck you.” manner.  
It was really good to see him smile.  
“… Better?”

Straightening up as well, Karkat rubbed his face with his hand as if waking up. His smile was still there, light as ever. So many emotions lately. He wondered if it was all a mere coincidence.

You know what…? Why not call it fate. Why not have hope that everything so far was supposed to happen, that he was meant to finally let go of some of the shit he’s been holding in for so long.

His eyes, clear and brighter than usual, turned to meet Dave’s once more. He nodded.

He laughed quietly again, wiping his face one more time to get any possible stray moisture. “Yeah,” he started, sighing heavily. “Yeah, I think I am.”

“Told ya it would get better” Dave grinned in a dead serious teasing.  
He wondered if it was now he punched him to show he cared, but decided to let it be.  
He pulled his iPhone out of the pocket to check the time, and his jaw dropped as the display showed 03:48.  
Holy shit, he had been here for about three hours, just talking to Karkat. He didn’t  know you could talk for so long.  
“You know, I should be heading home or Jade will wake up alone…” He murred, smiling at the troll. Whatever had happened tonight, because he didn’t know if it had a name, had brought them close. Very close.  
What did they call it? Brorail? No wait, morail. If Karkat didn’t already have one, then maybe this new connection had been enough to fill a quadrant…  
Oh well.

“Pfff,” was all Karkat could say in response. He then noticed Strider get an inquisitive look, as if he was pondering something… nope, gone. Whatever it was he must have decided against it.

Karkat managed to peek at the time when Dave pulled out his phone. Damn. 3 hours? Imagine that. It felt much shorter than that…

Karkat was snapped out of his train of thought when Dave talked to him. Karkat nodded, smiling back. “Yeah, you probably should. Don’t need to fuck up what you just fixed,” Karkat whispered back, teasing and giving him a lighthearted shove.

He pondered a bit. This night was something he wouldn’t ever forgot. He already had a moirail though…

Words of the Signless filled his mind again. Something about not needing quadrants. About things that were beyond quadrants.

Maybe this pale friendship was one of those things that didn’t need an assignment. Karkat liked that idea.

“Hey Dave,” he said, pausing. “Don’t hesitate to stop by whenever you want to. Same goes for Jade,” he said with the warmest smile he’s made since his wriggling.

Dave was completely mindblown by the smile. It changed Karkat’s entire look, lighting up his face with a soft glow, like a candle.  
He returned it, and somewhere deep inside him he really wished this was the only night he would show this much emotion.  
It was okay to not completely ignore Jade, but damn, these feelings made him exhausted!  
“Thanks dog. You too.” He got up and started on his way to the door.  
  


“STRIDER.”

Karkat had gotten up off the couch quickly, crossing the room when Dave was about to exit. Karkat was feeling great at this point, so fuck it all, he was going to not hold back.

He wrapped his arms around Dave in a good, solid hug.

“Thank you again,” he spoke. “I mean it.”

With that, he released Dave and stepped back, nodding a goodbye to him. He didn’t care to say anymore; he was emotionally spent. He was sure Dave was too.

Holy motherfucking shit cock son of a bitch bastard in the heavny heavens of what the in the name of the flying four fucks  
Karkat had hugged him.  
Today… Well, technically yesterday, they had beat each other up!  
Dave knew that he wouldn’t hesitate to beat him up again. He didn’t know why, maybe it was just because he deep within was still a heartless fucker?  
Would a heartless fucker manage to charm Karkat Vantas to the point of recieving a  _hug?  
  
_ He was proud of himself, holy shit!  
So with a grin Dave turned around again and walked away.


End file.
